Novels2024-You Will Never Find Them by Smith Philip Anthony

Author:Smith, Philip Anthony [Smith, Philip Anthony]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Suspense, British Suspense, Psychological Suspense, Domestic Thriller, England
Publisher: HOOK AND TWIST LIMITED
Published: 2024-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

20

REBORN

CHARLOTTE – LONDON – 2021

My perception of pregnancy was all pleasant baby showers and unintentional brunches. I imagined that I would be cutely waddling from one social occasion to the next, being wonderfully celebrated everywhere I went, simply for choosing to bring a precious new life into the world. I envisioned the pure glee on my anxious parents’ faces when I joyfully told them, the ecstatic gasps, and the tight embraces because their little girl was going to be a mother herself. I idly fantasised about happily perusing tiny little outfits and diligently picking out nursery colours. Michael and I would be side by side, blissfully jumping into parenthood with both feet, incredibly anxious but more excited than we have ever been in our lives. Sure, I had some of that, but what I had naively neglected to think about was the downsides of being pregnant.

Everything hurts.

Between the constant throbbing headache for a gruelling four months and being barely able to hold any food down, I think it’s safe to say I wasn’t exactly blossoming. There was certainly nothing ‘cute’ about me, and bottomless brunch usually ended in me throwing it all back up in a grotty restroom toilet. My back ached. The soles of my feet felt like they were on fire most of the time. My frame was so small that the bump was obvious, even at eighteen weeks, although with every inch it grew in diameter, it forced my already suffering organs into a much tighter space, and along with it came a brand-new symptom. Every Monday, without fail, I would pick up another ghastly affliction for my collection in the name of starting a family, and I was left even more convinced that I wouldn’t cross the finish line. I felt like I had selflessly sacrificed everything I had already, and with each passing week, the bump demanded more and more of me. I wasn’t sure what would be left of me by the time the baby arrived.

It’s ironic, really. I had spent every waking moment profoundly desiring something, and as soon as it happened, I almost wanted to take it back. Not that I ever voiced that opinion, especially to my clueless husband. I thoughtlessly took the test a few weeks after we got back from Paris and was shocked when I excitedly watched the two lines materialise, signifying that I was finally expecting. I giggled as I waited for Michael to come home from work and adorably presented it to him like a neat little gift, complete with a tiny bow. For me, it marked the end of the ongoing hostilities between us, and I was keen to live out my dream of finally getting our marriage back on track. I had taken destiny into my own hands and forced the situation upon us, and there was no choice for Michael but to grimacingly deal with it. He had no idea what I had done to force that positive result, and much to my quiet resentment, he often labelled the pregnancy as an accident or freak occurrence.

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